Childlike Faith

I love Easter.  Easter was always my mom's favorite holiday and her favorite time of year.  Its a wonderful time of reflection to really remember what God did for us.  The sacrifice He made. WOW.
As many people know I started teaching the children's Sunday school class at my church almost a year ago now.  It has been quite a learning experience and a journey as well as a blessing.  My passion has always been working with senior citizens.  My dream as a child was to own and operate my own nursing home so that I could take care of the senior adults and assure them that somebody did still love and care about them, even if it was just me.  And that still is my dream and goal.  With that being said, I never really felt much of a calling to work with children.  However I have been babysitting since I was 12 and still do so now for several of my friends, I have taught Cubbies in Awana's, helped in children's church and VBS and now teach Sunday school.  Obviously God has me working with children for a reason. 
My first Sunday teaching......well the kids pretty much ate me alive.  I was unprepared, and spent the entire class begging the children to please not hit, scream, yell, call names, or leave the classroom. I am not even sure if we made it through the lesson and I'm pretty sure there weren't but 5 or 6 kids including Teresa.  It was quite an experience.  Since that time, our class has grown and I have grown alot as a teacher, things don't always run smoothly but I definitely feel like God has placed me in this position for a reason.  This past week I was asked to fill in for Wednesday night service with the kids.  I started praying about what to teach and how to keep the children entertained.  God really started to speak to me on finding a way for the children to really understand what occurred during this week in history.  I started the class by telling the Easter story, I focused alot on the emotions of the disciples, and Mary, and Pilot and the other witnesses of the Crucifixion and Resurrection.  Then  I asked the children to take off their shoes and socks and sit in a circle.  I then went to each child individually and washed their feet and explained to them how Jesus had washed the disciples feet.  Several of the children felt the awkwardness of it which gave me an opportunity to explain why He did it.  We then sat around and had juice and cookies (the kid friendly version of communion) and I helped the kids imagine the intensity of the Last Supper.  From Jesus knowing that He was about to die and fulfill His purpose that God sent Him here for, to the disciples knowing this was the last meal they were going to share with Him, the emotions of sadness, uncertainty on how things were about to occur, who was going to betray and deny......
I think I got just as much, if not more, from the lesson than the children did.  I don't know that I had ever really taken the time to focus on what that meal must of really been like. 
I love the innocent minds of children.  One child asked about why is it called good Friday since Jesus died?  I loved being able to really share that with them and how it was important for Him to die and more importantly that HE didn't stay dead!
I really felt the impact of it when I asked Teresa what today was and why it was called Good Friday.  My 7 yr old daughter told me exactly why Jesus died.  She told me that He died so we wouldn't have to die for our sins.  And so that we could go to heaven and see God when we die. I love the simplicity of her explanation and how like many children she accepts it without question or doubt. 
As a mother I feel so blessed to have her and I love her so much!  Then I thought about how I could never sacrifice her for any reason, but God did, He sacrificed His only child.....watched Him suffer and die....for ME! (and YOU)
Its simply amazing. 
Just take time this Easter to reflect on the real meaning of this time of year, but don't keep this to yourself, make sure you share it with someone.  :)

Parenthood

Entering into 2011 I realize that this is the year that I turn 30. So naturally I start reflecting on where I pictured my life being when I hit 30.  The fantasy of what I had imagine and the reality of what it really is don't even compare to one another.  I guess that's pretty typical.  I had it all figured out when I was young, I was going to finish college and then get married at 27 and then have my first kid sometime around now.   I think that's what most young girls think.  Well the reality, I'm a single mom of an amazing daughter that is about to be 7 and I have a great job that is offering some nice opportunities in my future, but I never did graduate college and marriage doesn't appear to be anywhere in my near future.....lol.
I must say though, that even as a single mom, being a parent is the most wonderful and fulfilling role I have ever experienced in life.  It's taught me more than I think I could ever teach my daughter!  I've learned that even though I am the only one responsible for making the life altering decisions that most parents make together, I can turn to God for the guidance I need and He always provides the right answer.  He has watched over us and met our needs in ways most people could only imagine.  And He has taught me to look to Him to fill the void in Teresa's life, "A Father to the Fatherless" - Psalm 68:5 as well as my own life.  "I love you, Lord, You are my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my Savior. My God is my rock in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me and my place of safety. I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and He saved me from my enemies." Psalm 18:1-3
I know I'm not the perfect parent but I do any and everything I can to teach my daughter right from wrong.  Some of the most precious moments in my life are when I wake up before her and climb in the bed beside her to read my Bible and I can place my hands on her sweet little face and pray for God to keep her in His hands and protect her innocent mind and thoughts and to be with her when I'm not by her side and that she would learn at an early age to hear His voice and make the right choices.  It brings a peace to my heart that I never thought I would have. I anticipated living the rest of my life in a struggle to make it and in fear.  It's amazing how much God has changed that for me.  Peace of mind is one of the most precious gifts God has given me!

Parenthood is a privilege that alot of people seem to take too lightly.  When you make the decision to have a child, your entire life changes.  It's no longer about self, every decision you make effects your child and that is what you have to keep in mind.  It breaks my heart at how many parents do more for themselves than for their own children.  Your lifestyle has to change.  You change who you surround yourself with.  You change how you think of EVERYTHING.  I know I can't protect her from everything and everyone but I can do all that I can to raise her up to be a Godly woman.  I can keep her from places she could be exposed to fowl language and alcohol use.  I can keep her from watching television programs that introduce her to teenage or adult issues while she's only a child.  I can play Christian music and teach her how to praise God no matter what. 
Anyways, enough of my rambling.  I am just so thankful to be where I am in life.  I know God has great plans for both Teresa and I in the future.  And I'm thankful to be the parent of such a wonderful little blessing.  She's not only my daughter but also my friend and I love her so much.  I love how excited she is about life and how much she already loves God.  I love that we can worship together, go shopping together and watch football together.  I also love how knowing that she looks up to me and wants to be like me holds me accountable to live like I should.  Parenthood is such a blessing, in so many different ways!